Surface Pressure: Single Mom Anthem
Lin-Manuel gets me. He may just get every single mom in America.
Like millions of others, I love Disney’s newest movie, Encanto. It’s full of incredible music (composed by Lin-Manuel Miranda), dancing, magic, and life lessons. But the thing that stopped me cold which I cannot stop thinking about is one song, Surface Pressure. The song is sung in the film by the main character’s big sister about the stresses of being the strongest one in the family (literally — she has the gift of magical, superhuman strength).
This woman is a beast. She’s got her shit together. But in a moment of vulnerability, she admits that she wonders what would happen if she showed any weakness. Worries about the burden of responsibility on her shoulders. Questions her own worth.
Some of the lyrics that hit the bullseye of my heart are:
Under the surface
I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service
…
Who am I if I can’t carry it all?
…
Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks
…
Who am I if I don’t have what it takes?
No cracks, no breaks
No mistakes, no pressure
I’ve heard that being a single mom is one of the hardest roads. I don’t typically feel that way day in and day out. Sometimes it’s hard, sure, but I assume sometimes it’s hard for all parents. But under the surface…
Even when it’s great and precious and things are smooth sailing, there is always the fear that comes with the scariest number in the world: one. It’s all on you. It may even be in the back recesses of your brain, but it is always there. The stakes are high and everything is on you. Wide open vulnerability.
“What if” can take dark turns for anyone, but feels more like realistic possibilities as a single parent. Your defensive line against “what if” is a total of one person. Hello, you.
Then again, maybe it’s not just single moms who feel that way. As a society, we are fiercely independent, all living in our own separate corners, carrying our private beasts of burden within our painted walls.
Maybe Surface Pressure is an anthem for all of us. Perhaps it’s for everyone desperately trying to keep up with society’s expectations of success, survive the pandemic, win the comparison culture game of social media, and gain points for how busy we are.
The song continues:
But wait
If I could shake the crushing weight of expectations
Would that free some room up for joy
Or relaxation, or simple pleasure?
Instead we measure this growing pressure
Keeps growing, keep going
’Cause all we know is
Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that’ll never stop, whoa
Pressure that’ll tip, tip, tip ’til you just go pop, whoa-oh-oh
What if we stop measuring pressure? What if we stop being impressed with the amount people can handle and ask them to lay down their loads? Or stop striving so hard for more things. What if we released the pressure valve, lived with less, and helped carry each other?
Now that would be magical.
